2014-05-17 14.25.30
Let’s face facts-
Flowers are stupid!
Who needs em?
Always showing up uninvited to all of your big events-
Your birth
Your prom
Your graduation
Your wedding
Your child’s birth
Your funeral

I don’t recall inviting you to any of these occasions, flowers!
Everybody is always bringing you as their “plus one.”
Everybody wants credit for bringing you to the party.
Flowers are such cheap dates.
Always thirsty.
And they never want to leave or, at least, nobody ever seems to want show flowers the exit.
They want the flowers to stay in your house for a while.
Usually hanging out in the kitchen, hogging all of the sunshine.
And Grandma just won’t shut up about how pretty you are and how nice you smell – cram it, Grandma!
I’m on to you, flowers!
I’m sorry we can’t all be as pretty and fragrant and popular as you!
I’ll never be invited to all of the parties.
I’ll just be out here being bitter,
With my fellow weeds.
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Shappy Seasholtz

Shappy Seasholtz has an extensive 8-Track tape collection, an impressive selection of View-Master reels, a vast array of plastic figurines of old advertising mascots and far too many long boxes of comic books. Shappy is a National Poetry Slam Champion and is the creator of the Nerd Slam, a poetry competition that is half nerd poetry, half trivia-off. He has appeared on CNN, MTV and HBO's DEF POETRY. He was also in the movie FANBOYS as a Trekkie. His first collection of poems, SPOKEN NERD REVOLUTION was published by Penmanship Books in 2011 and his work has appeared in several WRITE BLOODY PRESS anthologies. Shappy currently resides in Columbus, Ohio.

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