Virgo – Delicate and refined, shy and beautiful, you, like the leaves of Asarum Canadense, will look great throughout the summer and well into the fall, long after your first flower is gone. This summer, Virgo, befriend the barely noticeable ants that adore you, and practice some myrmecophory of your own: find the biggest watermelon you can, lift it over your head, and bring it joyfully to your many friends to split up and share.
Libra – You will balance confidently on the breeze and float like a pro above the rare and the ruderal, and your “summer look” is a pom pom of encouragement to your favorite black-and-orange butterflies. Because of this, you, like Asclepias purpurascens, will be the lucky recipient of many pollination attempts this summer. Don’t underestimate your charm or let your fame frighten you. Let it all hang out, Libra!
Scorpio – It’s been rumored that people who interrupt you experience acute lashings of phytophotodermatitis. An experienced friend knows better than to mess with you, since like Heracleum maximum, you’re a hot little bundle of furanocoumarins and you’re The Real Deal, unlike those who try to imitate you. So if you’re at a barbecue this summer and people are being a bit standoffish, just remember, they’re intimidated.
Sagittarius – It’s nice and cool among the cattails, where you like to hide out, watching the dragonflies dancing after their prey. You find the cattails have a complementary life philosophy to yours, reasonable and logical. Eventually, Sagittaria latifolia will rear up and point you the way. You’ll make up your mind, and you’ll speak it, and you’ll be heard, understood, and well received.
Capricorn – Oh, hey Capricorn! I didn’t see you down there among the sedges. You could take a cue from Carex lupulina. I’m not saying you have to go as far as to develop spiky perigynia, but stand up proud when you’re feeling bogged down in the muck, you’re tough enough to handle it.
Aquarius – Adorned with prickles, it may seem like you’re selfish, but you have more than enough to share and you’re totally willing to do so. With Aquarians and Rubus spp. alike, as Galway Kinnell says, it’s just “a penalty they earn for knowing the black art of blackberry-making.” Your greatest strength will be your ability to squinch the last drop of sunlight from the last ray of summer, initiating the type of bacchanalia that’s typically inspired by your presence.
Pisces – Get your hiking boots on and walk down to a small-to-medium sized river or brook. Peering in the waters, watching your face warp and shift in the side-spitting water and sunlight, you might notice, skimming the surface, a cornucopia of seeds. An epiphany comes calmly to you as your eyes focus in amazement at a whole bunch of Staphylea trifolia lining the banks. Little did you know, all your hard work, seemingly meaningless to you at the time, has paid off.
Taurus – Grounded, stubborn, at times aggressive, you happen to have great taste in roots. Although Helianthus tuberosum is your power plant this summer, don’t feel like you have to consume all that energy. Try and take it easy, Taurus. Get some really outrageous sunglasses, listen to Sade on vinyl with the windows wide open, dig out your 1970’s “Playboy’s Host & Bar Book,” and try something new, like a “Joulouville” or a real homemade whiskey sour.
Aries – You and the trout lilies were way ahead of the game this year. When everyone else was still waking up, you got up, made a bunch of coffee, a huge muffalatta, and sliced it into enough pieces for the whole house to take to lunch. Fire signs all need to work on making sure that you set things up for next year, so don’t rest on those particular laurels. You will have to be the one to carry the torch this summer and show others the way to the dry patch of grasses, which you’d better darn well light up.
Gemini – There are two sides to every story, and thankfully in your case they always face the same direction. As you embark on an epic new project this summer, Gemini, let Silphium lacinatum be your guide. If you keep walking in a west-south-westernly direction, you’ll end up either in Marfa, Texas, in time for a secret performance of a big-ticket indie rock band at El Cosmico, or at the Telluride mushroom festival, which would be fun, too.
Cancer – Feeling like you don’t quite belong in a midwestern oak savanna, Cancer? Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal, even if you don’t. If you need more cariño there are thousands of warm-hearted, green-thumbed native gardeners who will take you faster than jiminy cricket, reciprocating your affection and helping you become your best self. Just be careful who you give your heart away to, because one Echinacea purpurea plant only makes a couple pots of tea, ya know?
Leo – If you don’t wash your mane for awhile, it gets this beautiful glossy sheen and it starts to smell great. People who pass you will stop, and turn, and say “Who in the world is making popcorn out here in this field?” Just don’t forget to doll up that beautiful mop (with your choice of ornaments: ribbons, beads, dreadlocks, what have you,) or people won’t recognize you as Sporobolous heterolepis, but just another tuffet of bunchgrass.
Many thanks to Craig Sadur for invaluable astrologicobotanical consultation.
And to Elise Robison for coining the term “pom pom flower, butterfly’s cheerleader”